ooo man...
i just got done saying goodbye to Doina and Costy.
the past three days have flown by and i can't believe that in 6 hrs i will be leaving for the airport.
we have spent most of our time the past days back at the park just spending time together, laughing a lot, talking a lot...
Saturday James flew in and we went to pick him up from the airport. then Saturday night there was a Christian concert at Costy's church that we all went to.
yesterday after church Viorica cooked lunch for Costy, Doina, James, Tony, Ionica, and I. it was so much fun being with Tony and Ionica again--even though we can't speak many words to each other--just like before somehow we manage to communicate.
thank you for your prayers so very much--the Lord is in control. He has calmed my heart over the past few days and given me moments with these dear girls that i will never forget.
I am sorry I can't write much more--I have to go try to get some sleep.
please pray for my flights tomorrow--i fly out of Romania at 6 am and almost 24 hrs and four planes later i will arrive in Dallas :) pray that none of the flights are delayed because then i mostly likely won't get home...well tomorrow at least.
my bags are packed along with about 10 crepes filled with finetti, 4 snidel(basically chicken fried steak romanian style), 4 pieces of cake bread, a whole circle of cheese...o dear...well at least i won't have to spend any money on food tomorrow :)
signing out of Romania again...maybe not for the last time--God only knows :)
much much love
Monday, July 9, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
He is worthy.
"I love you, Lord, my strength
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies."
Psalm 18: 1-2
well....
I am going to be honest. The past three days have been hard. full of lots of emotions...anger, sadness, frustration, lonliness...
yesterday the girls and I went to the store because I wanted to buy some things for the orphanage...and then we decided to go to the park/lake.
after sitting by the lake for a while we decided to rent a boat and go rowing :) I praise God for giving us Joy and laughter. I want you to know that even though I feel very attacked by the devil and many problems are facing me--God is faithful to allow my time with Costy and Doina to be full of love and conversations and questions and goodness :)
here are some pics and videos from the lake...enjoy!
the beauty of My Father...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx039d2Md1A
last night i got to go to Friday night church with Costy, and it was so good. so refreshing to be with other believers praising God. and even though i am very lonely...He is near. He is all i need and is faithful to use His people and His word to comfort and strengthen me.
He is worthy to be praised. worthy for me to be uncomfortable. worthy for me to feel lonely. worthy for me to be selfless when that is the last thing i feel like doing. worthy for me to praise him even when i honestly don't feel Him at all at times.
He is worthy.
thank you for your prayers. i love you,
em
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies."
Psalm 18: 1-2
well....
I am going to be honest. The past three days have been hard. full of lots of emotions...anger, sadness, frustration, lonliness...
I don't know why I am here.
but as my dear friend Juliette reminded me...I am here in Faith.
and according to scripture that means that i don't see what God is doing i might not ever know the answer to the question why...but I am called to trust him and have faith--
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. "Heb. 11:1
I don't know exactly how to explain everything that is going on...but I wanted to ask for your prayers. more than anything right now I want to be on a plane home...and i never thought i would type that.
so we went to the mountain: Costy, Doina, Ionica, Niki, and I and well. basically anything that could have gone wrong --did.
honestly...it was so hard for me to love. the last thing i wanted to do was be patient, self-less, kind, generous, joyful, etc. but even in the midst of all of this God is Faithful. Costy, Doina, and I had conversations and moments together that I will treasure forever and I pray that the Lord is working in their hearts and minds. I pray He is changing them, just like He is changing me.
i knew before coming that the only thing on my agenda was to love. period. love them. anyone i came in contact with. and so i want to ask you to pray for me to stop looking at Emily and what she is doing, but remember that Jesus has called us to BE. to Be love. to love Him and to love people.
here are some pics from the trip:
me and the driver Mr. Niki
I don't know exactly how to explain everything that is going on...but I wanted to ask for your prayers. more than anything right now I want to be on a plane home...and i never thought i would type that.
so we went to the mountain: Costy, Doina, Ionica, Niki, and I and well. basically anything that could have gone wrong --did.
honestly...it was so hard for me to love. the last thing i wanted to do was be patient, self-less, kind, generous, joyful, etc. but even in the midst of all of this God is Faithful. Costy, Doina, and I had conversations and moments together that I will treasure forever and I pray that the Lord is working in their hearts and minds. I pray He is changing them, just like He is changing me.
i knew before coming that the only thing on my agenda was to love. period. love them. anyone i came in contact with. and so i want to ask you to pray for me to stop looking at Emily and what she is doing, but remember that Jesus has called us to BE. to Be love. to love Him and to love people.
here are some pics from the trip:
me and the driver Mr. Niki
costy and I on one of the smallest streets in all of Europe :)
yesterday the girls and I went to the store because I wanted to buy some things for the orphanage...and then we decided to go to the park/lake.
after sitting by the lake for a while we decided to rent a boat and go rowing :) I praise God for giving us Joy and laughter. I want you to know that even though I feel very attacked by the devil and many problems are facing me--God is faithful to allow my time with Costy and Doina to be full of love and conversations and questions and goodness :)
here are some pics and videos from the lake...enjoy!
the beauty of My Father...rowing lesson #2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cx039d2Md1A
rowing lesson #3
last night i got to go to Friday night church with Costy, and it was so good. so refreshing to be with other believers praising God. and even though i am very lonely...He is near. He is all i need and is faithful to use His people and His word to comfort and strengthen me.
He is worthy to be praised. worthy for me to be uncomfortable. worthy for me to feel lonely. worthy for me to be selfless when that is the last thing i feel like doing. worthy for me to praise him even when i honestly don't feel Him at all at times.
He is worthy.
thank you for your prayers. i love you,
em
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Joy :)
romania is hot. very very hot.
maybe it was this hot in sevilla but i didn't realize it....i don't know if i remember being this hot in a long time...
sooo yesterday constanta and doina met me at around 11 in the morning and we headed to Santa Maria together. the feeling of being back there is unexplainable. the girls running up to me screaming my name--i honestly didn't think they would remember me... after i unattached them from my legs and arms Constanta decided it would be a good idea to have a bible study time together with the young girls--side note: if anyone knows of how to get children teaching materials in other languages(romanian) please let me know, i am searching the internet as well--but Costy desperately needs more materials
during the bible study i didn't really do much...can't really speak the language...:) so i just held them and tried my best not to distract the girls and make them listen to Costy. She is an amazing teacher! the girls look up to her so much and you can see how they run to her for everything.
afterwards Doina, Costy, and I headed to a park to meet up with the missionary team from California and a group from Costy's church to help pass out flyers about the concert on Saturday night. The team set up and performed their songs and dramas in the middle of the park...welllll until the police came and told us we had to leave...seems to be some law against loud music in the park or something--honestly they were more upset that we were promoting christianity than anything else
but I had a chance to meet so many people that night--Costy's church, "Mustard Seed", has a sort of foundation that is in a building connected to the church. this foundation serves as a sort of half-way house for orphans to live in between the time they leave the orphanage and get on their feet by themselves. it is through this foundation that the missionary team from Cali came. Teresa is a woman who we met during January--she has served here for almost two years...it was great talking with her again--hearing more of her stories and receiving advise from her. I also got to talk with a few other people from the group and from her church which was so encouraging!
I don't have much time so here are some pics from monday :) and a couple of videos...enjoy!
here are the links to the videos :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTrh2p-JIm0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD8H825uYyQ
...and today i went to Pinnochio to see Tony and Ionica and play with all the kids!
Viorica and I bought lots and lots of soft pretzels on our way so we could give the kids. honestly the orphanage has gone from bad to worse...I took some pics but the director spotted me and i think because i was by myself she thought i was maybe with a newspaper or something...but anyways she took my camera away. I explained with her that i could delete the pictures and then I could have my camera back....so it all worked out but i wish i had my pictures. Viorica and I gathered some of the kids and went outside to their 'playground' which in america would be referred to as a dump yard...maybe not even that-- we gave the kids some jump ropes and coloring papers. Viorica read to them the story of creation in Genesis 1, while they colored pictures of trees and animals. i spent the next couple of hours playing hand clapping games and jump rope and teaching the kids songs!
then i saw a bus pull up and a mission team came and did skits and dramas! during this i got to snap a few pics with the kids :)
sooo here are some pics from today...
constanta and I walking home...:)
maybe it was this hot in sevilla but i didn't realize it....i don't know if i remember being this hot in a long time...
sooo yesterday constanta and doina met me at around 11 in the morning and we headed to Santa Maria together. the feeling of being back there is unexplainable. the girls running up to me screaming my name--i honestly didn't think they would remember me... after i unattached them from my legs and arms Constanta decided it would be a good idea to have a bible study time together with the young girls--side note: if anyone knows of how to get children teaching materials in other languages(romanian) please let me know, i am searching the internet as well--but Costy desperately needs more materials
during the bible study i didn't really do much...can't really speak the language...:) so i just held them and tried my best not to distract the girls and make them listen to Costy. She is an amazing teacher! the girls look up to her so much and you can see how they run to her for everything.
afterwards Doina, Costy, and I headed to a park to meet up with the missionary team from California and a group from Costy's church to help pass out flyers about the concert on Saturday night. The team set up and performed their songs and dramas in the middle of the park...welllll until the police came and told us we had to leave...seems to be some law against loud music in the park or something--honestly they were more upset that we were promoting christianity than anything else
but I had a chance to meet so many people that night--Costy's church, "Mustard Seed", has a sort of foundation that is in a building connected to the church. this foundation serves as a sort of half-way house for orphans to live in between the time they leave the orphanage and get on their feet by themselves. it is through this foundation that the missionary team from Cali came. Teresa is a woman who we met during January--she has served here for almost two years...it was great talking with her again--hearing more of her stories and receiving advise from her. I also got to talk with a few other people from the group and from her church which was so encouraging!
I don't have much time so here are some pics from monday :) and a couple of videos...enjoy!
here are the links to the videos :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTrh2p-JIm0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD8H825uYyQ
...and today i went to Pinnochio to see Tony and Ionica and play with all the kids!
Viorica and I bought lots and lots of soft pretzels on our way so we could give the kids. honestly the orphanage has gone from bad to worse...I took some pics but the director spotted me and i think because i was by myself she thought i was maybe with a newspaper or something...but anyways she took my camera away. I explained with her that i could delete the pictures and then I could have my camera back....so it all worked out but i wish i had my pictures. Viorica and I gathered some of the kids and went outside to their 'playground' which in america would be referred to as a dump yard...maybe not even that-- we gave the kids some jump ropes and coloring papers. Viorica read to them the story of creation in Genesis 1, while they colored pictures of trees and animals. i spent the next couple of hours playing hand clapping games and jump rope and teaching the kids songs!
then i saw a bus pull up and a mission team came and did skits and dramas! during this i got to snap a few pics with the kids :)
sooo here are some pics from today...
constanta and I walking home...:) after pinnochio Costy, Doina, and I walked around the city for a while and then headed back to Viorica's for dinner.
today all the girls at Santa Maria left to go camping for a vacation sort of thing for a week and so Niki and Viorica decided that we would take a trip to see Dracula Castle and spend the night in the mountains! (maybe it will be cooler there) Costy, Doina, Ionica, and I are all going! I am so excited! mostly because i know they just need to get away from here, they need a break from their life for a few days.
ha and i asked Niki how long it takes to get there...possibly 8 hrs in a car....this is going to be very interesting...riding in a car in Romania with Niki and Ionica in the front for 8 hrs....say some prayers :)
Sunday, July 1, 2007
His steadfast love.
I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord, the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has granted us, and the great goodness to the house of Israel that he has granted them according to the abundance of HIS steadfast love.
(Isaiah 63:7)
sometimes words don't possess meaning. or the right meaning. or enough meaning. i don't know but right now i have no clue what to write.
His love is overwhelming. it is uncomprehensible. i can't begin to describe it. His love.
never thought i would be writing on this blog again.
I arrived here in Romania at about 1a.m. this morning. Viorica and Niki were there to greet me with open arms! Viorica and I held hands the whole way to the car laughing and talking about what has happened in our lives since our last time together.
Jenn, its crazy how familiar it all looks. as we were driving so many memories were running through my head. it feels so normal for me to be here so natural--which i really hard to explain
sleep and food was basically all i could think about. the food problem was cured very quickly with a chicken sandwhich AND non other than our beloved fresh crepes and finetti :)
I got in bed around 3a.m.
at about 8:30 I woke up to Doina and Constanta knocking at my door and wrapping their arms around me....joy, excitement, peace, overwhelming love, compassion, happiness--does not begin to describe.
they told me i had about 10 minutes to get ready for church and so i threw on some clothes and we ate breakfast together and then hand in hand headed for the metro. it felt like nothing had changed. except the amount of love between the three of us. we only have to look into each other's eyes to know what the other is thinking.
we speak in three languages. my mind is so confused right now. i'm saying Hola! Cha faci! adios! how are you? Vale! cuplacere! gracias! Constanta and Doina have had to stop me while speaking spanish about 10 times today..because i forget that i dont' have to speak spanish here.
we got to the church a little late but as i entered i realized it was jam packed full of people. and the speaker was speaking in english! come to find out there is a team here from california on a mission trip. about 17 are staying here for two weeks working through/with Constanta's church. so the whole service was either translated into english or the speaker was speaking in english! ahhhmazing :)there were about 3 pastors from the states and they all had their turn to share/sing.
during the random spurts of praise as i was standing listening to the mix of english and romanian words fill the air--all bringing glory to God..i thought in my head..i could be home here.
its the same feeling i felt when i spent time at Emilio's house in Sevilla with 4 other believers until 4 in the morning singing praise songs in spanish....i could be home here
here in the midst of people who love Him. who have realized their depravity. their utter nothingness and have decided to become vulnerable and fall in love with the one who chose to pour His love on us. i feel at home.
church ended about 2pm :)
after church Constanta, Doina, and I started home. ahhhh there is no way for me to describe how refreshing how incredible it was to spend the day walking around the city with them. we went to Santa Maria first for a little while. i walked into the hall and Caitalina ran towards me shouting Emily!!!! we stayed there for a while just talking and hanging out with the girls...we walked a lot and took a lot of buses and finally about 5 pm got back to Viorica's.
we ate dinner together and decided what the plan is for the rest of the week.
this weekend the mission team and constanta's church is putting on a big concert Saturday night. so tomorrow night we are going to go with them to the park and help pass out flyers. wednesday i am going with Constanta with a foundation called "Children to love" to another orphanage, mostly all little kids, and we are going to spend the day there.
ahhhh
sometimes the bible comes alive to me.
and phrases like...
"many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand" (proverbs 19:21)
and
"my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord, For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."(Isaiah 55:9)
they are more than just words when they start to describe your life.
over the past couple of years of my life i feel like i have said a million times in my head or heart "who am I? and whose life am i living? is this reeeeally me?"
and as i was reading in matthew on the plane out of Italy early this morning...this thought was crossing my mind yet again.....and the words of Jesus suddenly resonated in my heart within a verse that i have heard my whole life and...it came alive to me.
"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (matt.10:39)
this isn't my life. this isn't me living. i honestly feel so out of the picture sometimes it scares me. as if i was living inside of someone else's body.
but now it makes sense. what Jesus said and what i've heard my whole life makes sense. and most people would say well yea thats not that hard to figure out. well it was for me. and it still is for me. but...it is in this weird feeling of not living that i feel the most alive.
irony at its best.
the moments when i feel like screaming "somebody pinch me!!" because i feel like its not really me doing the action or experiencing whatever it is i'm experiencing. i love those moments.
i am having to fully run on faith right now. rely fully on the Love of my God to pour out of me. and i love it because i don't feel alive....yet i feel like i'm actually living.
a;dlkjaowiefjaw;ejfawoeijfawokejfaowijfawejfawoi
a;sdlfjawoeijf
letters do not do justice. words can not even pretend to proclaim what is in my heart.
i love you all very much!
and i am glad to be back..eating crepes, listening to the bird chriping, and looking forward for tomorrow because i have no idea what it is going to bring...
jenn i miss you. wish you were here with me. everyone misses you very much
(Isaiah 63:7)
sometimes words don't possess meaning. or the right meaning. or enough meaning. i don't know but right now i have no clue what to write.
His love is overwhelming. it is uncomprehensible. i can't begin to describe it. His love.
never thought i would be writing on this blog again.
I arrived here in Romania at about 1a.m. this morning. Viorica and Niki were there to greet me with open arms! Viorica and I held hands the whole way to the car laughing and talking about what has happened in our lives since our last time together.
Jenn, its crazy how familiar it all looks. as we were driving so many memories were running through my head. it feels so normal for me to be here so natural--which i really hard to explain
sleep and food was basically all i could think about. the food problem was cured very quickly with a chicken sandwhich AND non other than our beloved fresh crepes and finetti :)
I got in bed around 3a.m.
at about 8:30 I woke up to Doina and Constanta knocking at my door and wrapping their arms around me....joy, excitement, peace, overwhelming love, compassion, happiness--does not begin to describe.
they told me i had about 10 minutes to get ready for church and so i threw on some clothes and we ate breakfast together and then hand in hand headed for the metro. it felt like nothing had changed. except the amount of love between the three of us. we only have to look into each other's eyes to know what the other is thinking.
we speak in three languages. my mind is so confused right now. i'm saying Hola! Cha faci! adios! how are you? Vale! cuplacere! gracias! Constanta and Doina have had to stop me while speaking spanish about 10 times today..because i forget that i dont' have to speak spanish here.
we got to the church a little late but as i entered i realized it was jam packed full of people. and the speaker was speaking in english! come to find out there is a team here from california on a mission trip. about 17 are staying here for two weeks working through/with Constanta's church. so the whole service was either translated into english or the speaker was speaking in english! ahhhmazing :)there were about 3 pastors from the states and they all had their turn to share/sing.
during the random spurts of praise as i was standing listening to the mix of english and romanian words fill the air--all bringing glory to God..i thought in my head..i could be home here.
its the same feeling i felt when i spent time at Emilio's house in Sevilla with 4 other believers until 4 in the morning singing praise songs in spanish....i could be home here
here in the midst of people who love Him. who have realized their depravity. their utter nothingness and have decided to become vulnerable and fall in love with the one who chose to pour His love on us. i feel at home.
church ended about 2pm :)
after church Constanta, Doina, and I started home. ahhhh there is no way for me to describe how refreshing how incredible it was to spend the day walking around the city with them. we went to Santa Maria first for a little while. i walked into the hall and Caitalina ran towards me shouting Emily!!!! we stayed there for a while just talking and hanging out with the girls...we walked a lot and took a lot of buses and finally about 5 pm got back to Viorica's.
we ate dinner together and decided what the plan is for the rest of the week.
this weekend the mission team and constanta's church is putting on a big concert Saturday night. so tomorrow night we are going to go with them to the park and help pass out flyers. wednesday i am going with Constanta with a foundation called "Children to love" to another orphanage, mostly all little kids, and we are going to spend the day there.
ahhhh
sometimes the bible comes alive to me.
and phrases like...
"many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand" (proverbs 19:21)
and
"my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord, For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."(Isaiah 55:9)
they are more than just words when they start to describe your life.
over the past couple of years of my life i feel like i have said a million times in my head or heart "who am I? and whose life am i living? is this reeeeally me?"
and as i was reading in matthew on the plane out of Italy early this morning...this thought was crossing my mind yet again.....and the words of Jesus suddenly resonated in my heart within a verse that i have heard my whole life and...it came alive to me.
"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (matt.10:39)
this isn't my life. this isn't me living. i honestly feel so out of the picture sometimes it scares me. as if i was living inside of someone else's body.
but now it makes sense. what Jesus said and what i've heard my whole life makes sense. and most people would say well yea thats not that hard to figure out. well it was for me. and it still is for me. but...it is in this weird feeling of not living that i feel the most alive.
irony at its best.
the moments when i feel like screaming "somebody pinch me!!" because i feel like its not really me doing the action or experiencing whatever it is i'm experiencing. i love those moments.
i am having to fully run on faith right now. rely fully on the Love of my God to pour out of me. and i love it because i don't feel alive....yet i feel like i'm actually living.
a;dlkjaowiefjaw;ejfawoeijfawokejfaowijfawejfawoi
a;sdlfjawoeijf
letters do not do justice. words can not even pretend to proclaim what is in my heart.
i love you all very much!
and i am glad to be back..eating crepes, listening to the bird chriping, and looking forward for tomorrow because i have no idea what it is going to bring...
jenn i miss you. wish you were here with me. everyone misses you very much
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